Being that it’s Valentine’s Day, my husband found this very fitting quote and sent it to me this morning. At first, I kind of laughed to myself knowing he got stuck with me. LOL! I definitely think he got the short end of the stick! But after a light-hearted response back, I actually thought about how great of a deal I got and how blessed I am to have him as my husband.
Love is so important. Not just romantic love between two people, but love between parents and children, between siblings, and between friends. Relationships play a huge role in our overall health and well-being. If we are in a bad relationship, fighting with our parents or children, or not speaking to siblings, the stress of the relationship can take a toll on us. As I have talked about before, stress can do a lot of damage to our body, even cause chronic illnesses and diseases. So, how do we have good, healthy relationships? Here’s my top five recommendations and what to do if they aren’t meeting your needs.
1. CommunicationI preach this to my kids all of the time (just ask my 19 yo) . If someone has to second-guess what you are thinking, it’s never going to end well. If you just keep hoping that things are going to change, they aren’t. If you think your significant other can read your mind, (s)he can’t. If you think your boss knows that (s)he is disrespectful, (s)he doesn’t. If you think your friend knows that (s)he hurt your feelings, (s)he doesn’t. If you think your coworker knows that (s)he is annoying you with countless stories every day while you are trying to work, they don’t. 🙄 You have to speak up. I don’t mean start an argument by telling them all of their faults, I mean, in a tactful way, explain to them how what they are doing doesn’t work for you. The more you communicate, the better the relationship you will have. 2. HonestyThis goes right along with communication. You have to be honest in a relationship. If you can’t be honest, then you are not only doing a disservice to yourself, but you aren’t allowing the other person to truly love YOU.3. SupportWe all have an inner child in us that still looks for acknowledgment. When you share your dreams with someone, share a story from work, share something that weighs heavy on your heart, you need someone who is willing to listen to you, know when giving advice isn’t necessary, and someone who builds you up when you are down. You need someone who is willing to hold your hand and walk through the fire with you. 4. RespectA lot of people believe that respect is earned. I see it differently… I don’t believe that you have to earn respect. I think respect is a God given right to every human being. You may not like someone, and you may disagree with their beliefs, but God created all of us to be different. You don’t have to agree with each other to respect each other. Therefore, any relationship should involve respect, without question.5. TrustI do believe that trust is earned. You have to be able to trust the other person in the relationship for it to last. If you do not trust them, ask your self why? If you have a valid reason for not trusting that person, would you be better off moving on?While there are many other qualities that meaningful relationships should have, these five are my essentials. So, what do you do if your relationship lacks any, or all of these?Well, first, start with number one. Communicate with the other person. If after communicating, and working to make changes, the relationship is still lacking in quality, then maybe it’s time to move on. Don’t ever feel obligated to be in a relationship with someone if the relationship causes you undo stress, even if it’s a family member. I don’t say that very easily. However, you have to take care of your self. If you have went above and beyond to have a healthy relationship with someone and they aren’t reciprocating the effort, then find a way to remove yourself from that relationship. At the very least, set boundaries between you and that person. Maybe you only except a phone call once a week, maybe it means you only see them once or twice a year, whatever it is that you need, don’t be afraid to enforce it. It might be hard to wrap your head around letting go of a relationship, but your body will thank you later.
Love is an amazing thing. I believe that everyone absolutely deserves it. While it’s not always easy, it is one of the building blocks of having a healthy life.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails.”
1Corinthians 13 4-8
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!
For more information on health coaching with me, shoot me an e-mail at StacyRawlings@mac.com